Words, words, words...

(A post from Pete)

"Words, words, words..." That’s how Joel once expressed his disappointment in a book that didn’t have enough pictures to suit him - but that’s an attitude that all of our children by far overcame. Words … precious words … the source of wisdom, insight, pleasure, diversion, imagination … books.

Books have always been important in our family. One of the earliest presents I can remember receiving from Becky was for my birthday in March 1976: 3 volumes of Wuest Word Studies in the Greek New Testament. It cost her a fortune (taken from a meager salary) to send it to me in Germany, where I was working with the Navigators. I still have the card in one of the volumes:

“I wanted to give you something that would have eternal value. I know this will. I love you. Rebecca”

A more recent gift of mine to her was Keil and Delitzsch’s Commentary on the Old Testament in 10 volumes. A gift that has become a blessing to many as the truth of Scripture passes from it through Becky’s life and on to other people.

Of course, there are lots of other books in our library - mysteries, JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis, a fair collection of Golden Books. Then there are biology, chemistry, anatomy, physics, math, statistics, general relativity, cosmology, and astronomy, not to mention all of the thread arts (sewing, weaving, quilting, rug hooking).

When we lived in Germany, we looked for Waldo and Gucki, and read many of the children’s stories over and over, to the extent that the kids could recite the text from memory, even though they couldn’t read English. During those years Joel and Anne fought repeated strains of virus - their immune systems seemed unable to keep up. Hour after hour they would perch on a lap or sit bundled next to the heater in the kitchen while Papa or Mama read to them - The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and on and on. Our kids have never lacked for imagination - which Lewis and Tolkien would doubtless credit to having read them fairy tales when they were small.

The kids were starting to read when we moved to back to the farm. There we had the “dreaded encyclopedias” in the living room. (The answer to the question: What did you ever do before there was Google?!) The kids were always afraid that when they asked a question at the dinner table, they would be sent to the living room to look it up, instead of having Mom and Dad provide the answers predigested.

I think of the books as the wallpaper of our lives … and of our rooms. Or as it was in Illinois, insulation of our walls against the cold of winter and heat of summer! So it shouldn’t be surprising, that when it came time to move back to Illinois at the end of our sojourn in California, that we had over 1000 pounds of books to move.

But as dear as many of the books were, we also realized that many would never be opened again by us, and it would be better to pass them on to others before we move. And as we find more pleasure in gifting than in selling things, we decided to do that. We culled at least 500 pounds of books.

When God wanted to make of a bunch of slaves into a nation, He gave them the start of a book - Genesis through Deuteronomy - to change the way that they looked at Him, at themselves, at the creation and at life. We hope that He uses the books we’ve passed on to others - His most of all - to do the same thing.

Words, words, words … you bet!

The Road to Tomorrow

Over the past decade Pete and I have been on a mission.  It's been in the background of our busy lives, perhaps not noticeable but there in our consciousness.  It's been a mission to organize and preserve our family history for those who come after us.  We've transcribed dozens of letters we wrote home during our years in Germany, chronicling our life there.  Pete has digitized hundreds of family photos and put them on CDs for each of the kids.  I've spent hours researching and documenting family genealogy, collecting and scanning photos to add to the dates and places.  We've spent thousands of dollars preserving the family farm and homestead instead of selling it off and letting someone else worry about it (or not, which is more likely what would have happened).  

I'm sure our kids have certainly wondered why in the world we bother about all this, why invest all this energy is something that doesn't really interest them.  The best answer I can give is to quote John McKay, former president of Princeton University who said, "The road to tomorrow leads through yesterday."  As we've gotten older, we've grown to appreciate much more the acts of God in our history.  We've come to understand that those places, people and deeds are not merely random acts of the universe but part of a larger story of redemption.  God doesn't act in the abstract - He acts in the concrete, the here and now, the there and then.  The pieces all have meaning because they are ordained by the One who is Meaning Himself.

Today so much of life is disposable, transferrable, temporary and ephemeral, measured and quantified in dollars and cents rather than in relationship and history and community.  People move around, in and out of situations like restless, vibrating, "independent", self-contained units, taking what they need from the immediate surroundings, often feeling no responsibility to or for those surroundings.  We've lost the bigger picture or, even worse, we've come to disbelieve that there IS a bigger picture.  And yet the question "Who am I?" still comes to haunt us in those rare quiet moments not filled with noise and distractions.  We've lost a collective sense of memory kept alive by community.  And with that amnesia, we've lost our identity, our sense of where we belong in this drama of life.  Contrary to current belief, our identity isn't something we forge entirely for ourselves in the here and now.  Our efforts to record and preserve have been efforts to keep telling the story, to keep the memories alive and to preserve the things that give identity in the larger framework of God's plan.  

Part of our desire is motivated by the knowledge that as children we often see people from a very limited perspective.  When I was a child, I saw my maternal grandmother as a quiet, plump woman with her hair in a bun who had rheumatism.  Many years later I was told stories about her from people who knew her as a younger woman.  One man told us that the one thing he remembered about her was her physical strength.  He saw her help my grandfather as he built a barn and she was able to carry sixty pound bags of concrete mix.  Another told me about her unique mechanical ability - she could fix just about anything that had a motor.  Neither of those were things I ever would have known or in my wildest dreams guessed about her.  My childish perspective, while not wrong, was certainly incomplete.  

In the history of a family there are things that happen that, as children, we can only guess at the reasons or draw conclusions that may be quite far from the truth.  Part of our desire in preserving the family history is to leave as clear a record (from our perspective) as we can.  Sue Grafton, in one of her mystery novels, says this:  Our recollection of the past is not simply distorted by our faulty perception of events remembered but skewed by those forgotten.  The memory is like orbiting twin stars, one visible, one dark, the trajectory of what's evident forever affected by the gravity of what's concealed.

Of course our recollections are also distorted by our own perspectives.  But as far as we are able, we long to give glory to God for the threads He has used to weave this tapestry of our family.  And so we'll go on recording the story, as best we can.

Forget none of His benefits

A post from Pete (and Becky - it's like we have one brain in two heads!)

Our church is learning Psalm 103 together this year. The first two verses say,

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits.” (Psalm 103:1-2 NASB)

Before heading back to the farm, it’s good to reflect on “His benefits” in this season of our lives. We look back with amazement on how God brought us here and where we are now because of “His benefits”.

2006 - and we had NO idea of the tsunami of change approaching!  Anne was living and working in Chicago, trying to make a go of life on her own. Becca was at ISU studying accounting as an undergrad. Joel had moved to New York for a change of setting and had recently developed an interest in a woman he had met online named TeeTee, who lived in LA. After a whirlwind courtship they decided Joel would move to LA, they would get married and then figure out how to make life and marriage work. On a Monday we received word that a Friday wedding was planned. “Not without us!!!” we said.  We coordinated travel plans with the girls and everyone flew out Thursday in time for the wedding. All through this time, Becky and I were praying, asking God to give our children both mercy and grace, each in the path that he or she had chosen, through the struggles and joys they each faced.

2007 - still no inkling of the sea change ahead. In February Joel began working for Google. In April of that year some spring break travel plans fell through for Becky and me, and on a lark we decided to visit Joel and TeeTee in LA for a few days. When we arrived Becky had a broken toe and I could only turn my head one direction - not a promising start for a “getaway”. But around this time Joel had discovered that his Google office was looking for a statistician. Since we had always dreamed of working together (a dream still not altogether satisfied or forgotten), he asked me to apply. I think he mentioned it three times during the visit and finally Becky suggested I should get it over with: apply, it would end right there and everyone could happily go on as they were. So I did.  God must have been laughing about this time!

I’ll pass over the process - but Google made an offer, Rush made a counter offer and, after torments of analysis, prayer and seesawing, we found ourselves making the decision based primarily on one factor: how can we best love our kids?  It seemed that being near Joel and Tee to encourage, pray and support them was the greatest need of the moment, particularly with the impending advent of Micah.  It was a huge risk and step into the unknown. And we kept praying for all of our kids.

forget none of His benefits …

Benefits often don’t look like benefits. Becca probably struggled the most with us being gone. We had originally hoped she would join us as soon as her undergraduate studies were done. But opportunities open, plans change and apart from visits, she wasn’t able to join us in LA until she'd gotten her Master's in Accounting - and those were hard years for her. Anne was likewise struggling with consequences of the economic downturn - losing her job through consolidation. From the bottom of a “pit” she called sobbing, asking if she could come visit. Becky urged her to come and by God’s grace she never went back to Chicago. And we kept praying.

forget none of His benefits …

Eight and a half years later …and now some of those benefits are clearly visible!

Joel and TeeTee have weathered their share of storms and have learned how to provide each other with safe havens, where they can disagree (because they are very different people) without threatening or feeling threatened. God’s given them two very wonderful, very different little boys who are fiercely loyal to each other and a whale of a lot of fun. They know Mom and Dad love them deeply and are excited to see what tomorrow will bring.

Anne received from God the gift of Kenji who loves and appreciates her and is glad she is his wife. A new job opened to her a whole new direction and purpose in life.  Somehow through their love for each other, books and friends, God opened the door to Jesus and both of their lives are in the midst of an amazing transformation. Anne has become the first of the children to return to the farm (how’s that for unlikely!) and both Anne and Kenji are discovering that their lives have purpose in Jesus and are exploring what doors He might open for them.

Becca received from God the gift of Stephen, a man who deeply loves her and who provides the stability around which her world rotates. Job experiences have led them both in new directions. Wherever they are, they love people and reach out to others through their home. Many of the difficulties of the ISU years have been transformed into life lessons to share with others.

I could fill pages with answers to prayer that Becky and I have seen for each of the three families, husbands and wives and children. Beyond that, God has given us an amazing spiritual family through our church, preserved the farm in our absence, allowed us to renovate the house and provided resources for retirement that we would never have had if I had stayed at Rush. And we keep praying.

What do we pray for? Well, after we’ve thanked God over and over for the things He’s done in the lives of our children, we pray for His continued protection, grace and work.  We also confess we have a selfish request: we’d like to have them all near us again as we live on the farm. We make no demands. We have seen that God’s answers to our requests have far exceeded in goodness anything we have asked for. Also, we don't presume to know God's will for our children. So we make our requests and bow before His sovereignty with joy.

God brought us to LA, carried out His redemptive work in our family and is now taking us back to the farm for the next - most likely the last - chapter in our adventure. We can heartily say with the Psalmist,

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits.” (Psalm 103:1-2 NASB)

The beginning of the end...

A post from Becky

To quote the Apostle Paul, "the time for my departure is near".  Our move back to the farm in Illinois has seemed like a distant dream but now we are down to 14 weeks left in California and our thoughts are turning more and more to that time and place.  There is the "small matter" of moving the entire household across country between now and then.   And we want to end well, complete the work God has given us to do here and say our farewells thoughtfully.  But we approach the end of one season and the beginning of another with joy and faith and the sense that we will be "going home" soon.  

We always knew that this would be a temporary season.  What we didn't know is how much God would bless us in this season - so many important family changes, so much joy with our spiritual family, so much discovery and travel!

Pete and I wanted to start a blog where we can chronicle this new chapter of our journey together.  When we lived in Germany I wrote a letter home to both our sets of parents every single week.  That was back in the days of electric typewriters, thin airmail stationery and carbon paper!  This will definitely be easier and faster.  Journaling and recording the lessons God teaches us is good.  We've chosen to do that in a format where we can share it with you, our nearest and dearest.  And when we're back on the farm, it will be fun to chronicle our lives there so you can all be a part of that.